I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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