Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
