I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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