whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
