it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
