youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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