I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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