Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
