all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
