A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
