I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
