I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
