Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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