I smell stomach acid.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
