Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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