I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
