So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
