I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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