is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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