She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
