I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
