we have officially lost it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
