chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
