we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
