I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
