The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
