Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
