If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
