im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
