Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
