its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
