Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
