we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
