i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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