a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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