Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can you bring me the toilet please
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
