She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
