He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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