Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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