So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
