Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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