We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
