i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think my fart just growled at me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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