well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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