she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
