exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
