I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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