Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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