HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
