HIV tests are more positive than that guy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
