I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
