I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
